About a week after we moved in, I found out I am pregnant with baby #4. The video at the very end was when we told the kids - it was the surprise at the end of a scavenger hunt. We find out in a few weeks what the gender is and we are all VERY excited to find out. This baby is our rainbow after a long storm. We miscarried last fall - in the midst of Mike's job loss and rough time frame. It was as if everything was crashing down on us. When we felt like life couldn't get any worse (there are a lot of details to the job loss that aren't worth sharing, but a lot went on) it got worse. I prayed daily over James "Consider it pure joy my brothers and sister, when faced with trials of many kinds, because the testing of your faith produces perseverance." On the toughest of days, sometimes this is all I could get out - and that was ok! God brought Mike and I closer together through prayer than every before. Looking back, this was a trial that strengthened our faith and didn't weaken it. I was asked many times, "Aren't you mad at God for doing this?" Yes and no. I was mad and angry at the situation but not at God. God doesn't make bad things happen. Sin is in the world and therefore bad things are going to happen. We are all broken people. God uses those bad things for his glory. Did I cry out to God and ask why? You bet. Did he answer? Not right away but he gave me peace and hope. He put people in my life that prayed with us and supported us. I struggle with anxiety over finances. So when Mike lost his job, he was worried about me worrying about money (did you follow that?). The crazy thing is - I never once worried about paying bills or having food on our table. God sent me so much peace in that area. We were never late on any payment. We almost drained our savings, but that is what it is for right? We had help from so many people and most of the time without even asking. 2017 was a rough year for us but 2018 is turning out to be the best one yet.
Now in the spring we are seeing that God has always been with us and will always be with us. We hope we can use our testimony of 2017 to encourage others never to lose hope. God is faithful. His plan is always better than ours. Mike's job is going very well. His co-workers are wonderful. Our kids are older now and kind of get what is going on. Ayla talks to the baby every day. They ask about how I am feeling and are just ready for him/her to get here...which won't be until December!
